


Things He'll Never Say

by honeylavendertea



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. References, Best Friends, Drunkenness, F/M, Friends references, RPF, Real people, Surprise Party, caestridge - Freeform, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 06:50:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4696262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeylavendertea/pseuds/honeylavendertea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She beamed at him. He’d never say his heart skipped a beat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things He'll Never Say

"Can you grab the rest?" Iain asked, adjusting the paper bag on his hip and pulling a large case of beer from the trunk. Brett nodded before answering his ringing phone, and the Scotsman set off around the block.

It was a cool April evening, and the sun was just about to set. It was Elizabeth's idea to throw Chloe a surprise party, and everyone had played along: giving her the obligatory "happy birthday" on set, maybe a hug, but otherwise not making a fuss about it. As for now, the birthday girl was out celebrating with her boyfriend (aka the distraction) and wouldn't be arriving for another hour.

Iain was approaching the front door to Chloe’s house when someone threw it open.

"Hey Zach," Iain said, surprised, Zach just gave him a half-hearted nod as he strode across the front lawn and drove of in his car.

Liz had been dating Zach for quite a while now, and though it has been a couple years, Iain didn't really know him. He didn't really hang out with their group often and when he did he was never really social.

"Elizabeth!" He called as he walked through the foyer, "Here's the booze. Brett's coming with the rest of the stuff." 

Elizabeth was facing the sink, but turned around at the sound of his voice  
"Oh, good!" She said a bit too quickly.

"Hey, are you okay?" Iain asked, concerned.

"Yes, of course!" She said, waving a hand, blinking away what we're definitely unshed tears. He gave her a look and she sighed, cleared her throat, and began fiddling with her fingers, "Zach and I have been a bit rocky lately." She confessed.

No wonder she has been a bit subdued for the past week or so.

"It's nothing a good party can't fix though!" She forced a smile.

"Liz, I-"

"Really, I'm okay." She locked eyes with him from across the kitchen island then reached out and slide the paper bag towards herself.

"Wanna get started with me?" She smirked at him, holding a bottle of Jack Daniels in both hands. He looked at the whiskey, then back to her own whiskey eyes and he knew; Elizabeth Henstridge was gonna get fucking smashed tonight. 

He let out an exaggerated sigh, but agreed. Grinning at her excitement, he pulled three shot glasses out from Chloe's cabinet while she put the wine in the fridge. Brett finally joined them, scooping Elizabeth up into a hug, as if they hadn't just seen each other a few hours ago. 

The three of them toasted to Chloe and went back to setting up for the party: the reason they had arrived before the rest of the guests. Ming arrived about 15 minutes later with a ton of balloons and a giant bag of ice. After noticing the glasses left out in the kitchen, she asked if anyone cared for another one; Iain sat it out but he watched his two friends take another.

While Brett and Iain hung the banner, Ming criticized their work. Elizabeth alternated between wrapping and twirling purple streamers wherever she could get them and laughing at the boys who groaned at Ming's complaints about the banner;

"Stop telling me to raise mine," Iain lectured, "and just tell him to lower his! If you haven't noticed, I physically can't get it any higher: he is the tall one!"

Clark arrived, just as they were finishing up the decor, and the remaining guests started filing in soon after: everyone chatting and snacking, waiting for the guest of honor. 

"Hey, I got an update!" Elizabeth's accent rose above the buzzing crowd, "Chloe and Austin are only a block away so everyone hide!" She squealed with excitement.

Clark and BJ hit the lights and Liz tucked herself down behind the couch with BJ Brit and Nick Blood. The surprise went as well as any other surprise party, with all the guests yelling surprise and Chloe screaming "Holy Shit!" so loudly the neighbors heard her.

Within the first hour, Chloe had introduced Iain to two of her very cute, currently single, friends that had managed to get an invite. Both were nice enough but there was no connection and the conversation was stale. Excusing himself, Iain made his way to the kitchen, he heard Chloe snort with laughter as he passed her and Adrianne. Pulling open the fridge he grabbed himself a Coke, and chuckled as he heard his friend snort again the next room over, even louder this time.

"Can you grab me one too?" 

"Yeah." 

"Thanks, babe." He passed her the second red can and watched as his favorite Brit mix herself a drink, a strong one, he noted.

"Having fun?" She asked, sipping her Jack and Coke, her eyes were a bit wider then normal: the first tell that she had been drinking.

"Tons." He replied, cracking open his own, unaltered cola. The pair leaned back again the counters edge at the same time, 

"You driving tonight?" Nodding to his hand.

He nodded, "Is Zach picking you up later? I can give you a ride home." He offered.

"Really? I was meaning to ask you for one actually, but only if you don't mind!" His lips twitched upward, always overly polite that one is.

"'Course not."

“Thanks.” She bumped his shoulder with her own.

As they both sipped their drinks, he saw her brow furrow for a moment, thinking a moment before she spoke again, "Zach was supposed to come tonight."

He looked at her, showing his attention, and she continued, avoiding his eyes, "I’ve gone to every work event and party that he has invited me to, all the nights out with his friends, and he can't show up to more than two of mine." She paused a moment, fiddling with her straw, "We have had this fight so many times. I have told him how important you guys are to me. And yet he can't spend one evening with you all." She shook her head, placing her drink down behind her, "I just feel like I'm constantly putting him first but I'm lucky if I am his second!" She exhaled as though those words had been stored in her lungs.

They have had plenty of serious conversations before; both have confided personal stories, secrets even, to each other and other members of the cast. They’d all been friends for years now. But her outburst made him realize that Elizabeth rarely talked about her relationship with Zach, and that if he hadn’t seen the two together in pictures or at the two events he had escorted her to, she easily could be preserved as single. There was now gushing about the details of romantic gestures, no anticipation of their date after work, no flowers being sent, no constant phone calls or blush-inducing text messages. It was quite private to everyone really.

She sighed and finally looked up to meet his gaze, "I'm not being stupid, am I? It shouldn't be like this, right?"

"No, you're not stupid. I'm mad at him too." She gave him a quizzical look, "You deserve better.” She beamed at him. He’d never say his heart skipped a beat.

She gave him a watery smile before, "Oof!" A bit of her drink sloshed to the floor when Chole hugged her from the side, pinning Elizabeth's arms, "Why, hello there!" Cheerful once again, she greeted the new arrival.

"Hi!" Chloe mumbled, her jaw pressed against her friend’s shoulder, "A few little birdies told me that you were the mastermind." She slowly loosened her grip but kept her arms around her.

"No I wasn't-" Elizabeth started as Iain interjected "Yep!" 

"It was really a group effort-"

"She planned everything!"

"I did not-"

"Oh yes she did!" Iain said directly to Chloe before smirking at her.

"FitzSimmons" Chloe muttered and rolling her eyes, "Well, thank you!" she continued, “Now you two have to stop being anti-social and join the rest of the party!" 

 

A couple hours later Iain, while he chatted with Henry Simmons, Clark Gregg, and his wife, Jennifer, noticed Elizabeth leave her conversation with Brett, leaving the man standing alone and looking, for whatever reason, suspicious. Curious, Iain excused himself and made his way to where the guarded man stood.

"What's up, man?" He asked just as Elizabeth came scurrying back, looking very excited.

They both looked at her: one with confusion, one with expectation.

"It's up next. Prepare to be $40 poorer Dalton." She giggled and leaned against the taller man. 

Iain looked expectantly at Brett, who sipped his beer and explained, "Mulan is gonna come on next: Elizabeth thinks Ming is going to be excited about it. However, we all know she is going to go turn it off right away. How many times do you think she hears that from people on a regular basis." 

"Nuh uh!" She sing-songed, shaking her head, "you sure need to take into account how much she likes Mulan!" Her accent, like Iain’s, gets heavier as she drinks, and at this point in the night, if Brett hadn’t know her for so long, he might not have been able to catch her words the first time around. 

“She might like the character and the movie, but you can still over-hear a song and get sick of it!" Brett retorted.

Iain butt in before she could argue back, "$40 says she won't even notice."

The gamblers looked at each other a moment before saying “deal” and shaking his hand.

A minute later the song changed: the three held their breaths and Elizabeth grabbed hold of her friends’ wrists. Iain would never say he was distracted by the warmth of her hand. After the entire intro passed by and Ming continued her conversation, Iain grinned triumphantly at them.

"Just wait for it." Brett said, sounding confident. 

The first verse played through and a few of their friends turned to look over at Ming, who still showed no indication of hearing the song. But right as the chorus started up, they watched her run over to the speakers, her brow furrowed.

Brett laughed, "Looks like I am the lucky-" but he was cut off by the sound of "YOU MUST BE QUICK AS A COURSING RIVER! WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TY-" at full volume and Ming, singing along at the top of her lungs.

"YES!" Liz screamed, Iain winced at her volume, but she took no notice and jumped up and down, a hand still grasping each mans forearm, "Pay up boys!" She gloated, taking forty bucks from each of them. 

"You're killing me, Henstridge." Brett complained, handing her the money.

She smiled, before downing the rest of her drink and joining Ming and Chloe on top of the coffee table.

Their bet started a trend and the Disney music continued. Iain bopped along but spent the majority of the time watching his friends have a good time. Adrianne, and Chloe's boyfriend, Austin, also sat out the dancing for the most part and three laughed at how ridiculous their friends all looked.

Most people were drunkenly jumping or swaying: BJ and Ming were all but grinding up on each other, meanwhile Chloe and Brett looked like they were in competition to look the most like one of those blow-up men outside car dealerships. Nick and Henry were trying (and failing) to sing Disney as hard rock and Clark and Liz where spinning and waltzing off in their own little world. At one point, with her hands on his shoulders and his around her waist, the latter pair even managed a simple lift; Pretty impressive for their tipsy states. Iain watched as she was set down again, she tilted her head to the side and laughed, her nose crinkling as it always does. And he would never say he was jealous. He didn't realize he was staring until she had locked eyes with him from across the room and wave him over. His eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently no. 

Thankfully Clark gave her a dramatic dip; otherwise he surely wouldn't have resisted the puppy dog eyes she was giving him.

The dancing stopped when Chloe accidently kicked a wine glass across the room, shattering against the wall. It was then that most of the guests started calling it a night.

By 1:45am, the remaining guests all flopped themselves down around the living room, and those that weren't driving decided to take one last shot, toasting the birthday girl: Clark and Iain, the DDs just shook their heads at each other as they did so knowing that all of them were probably at their limit already.

"So how did you like your party, Chlo?" Brett asked from the chair in the corner, practically falling asleep.

"Amazing!" She sighed, from the lap of Austin who pulled her closer as she spoke, "thank you guys." 

As the group chatted about the show and then their plans for the week, Iain watched Liz. He couldn't see her face because she was sitting in front of him on the floor, leaning back against the couch, but he could see her reading, and ignoring, the fifty text messages that she was receiving. Soon enough she got up and left the room, rather unsteady on her feet, pressing the phone to her ear. The front door opened and shut, but the group didn't notice or didn't think anything of it. Elizabeth was an actress for a reason and it seemed that Iain was the only one who knew about her current troubles.

After 45 minutes passed and she still hadn't come back in Iain decided to go check on her, if anything to make sure she hadn't started walking around LA drunk in the wee hours of the morning.

She was sitting on the front steps, with her back to him, when he stepped out the front door. He heard her sniffle a bit before saying softly, "This is probably a dumb question, but are you okay?" 

He heard her force a chuckle before answering with "I'll be okay." She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. He turned to go back inside: to let her have some space, but then he swore heard, "You can stay if you want?" She said it so softly he almost thought he imagined it, but sure enough, he turned around and she was looking right at him with wide, tear-filled eyes. Iain has never wanted to punch someone more than he wanted to punch Zach right then.

Closing the door, he sat down next to her, but on the step above. He didn't know what to do or to say, but then she didn't seem like she wanted him to say anything. She took a shaky deep breath, using the long sleeve of her dress to wipe away the mascara under her eyes.

"I don't know what to do." She confessed, whispering in the dark. They both were looking down the dark driveway at all the traffic lights sparkling in the distance.

"Well, don’t worry about it now" he said back, keeping his voice low, "you’re both tired and at least one of you a bit drunk," he nudged her playfully so she knew he was just teasing, "you'll both be better in the morning.” He paused then added, “I know I don’t know Zach really, but I know that he doesn’t deserve you. Not if he treats you like this.”

She didn't say anything, but she looked at him a moment, her dark eyes still too wet. Then she slide closer to him: staying a step below, she linked her arm through his and rested her head against his upper arm. He smiled to himself.

"You're one of my best friends, you know that?" She sighed.

"Yea? You too."

"Good." He felt her smile through the sleeve of his sweater, "even after Agents of Shield?"

"'course," he confirmed.

“Even when we’re old?” She said, incredulously.

“Ehhh…” He pretended to think. She gasped dramatically, pulling her head away to stare at him.

He stared back, holding in a grin. She opened her mouth to scold him but he beat her to it.

“I’m just kidding!” She smiled, laying her head on him once more, “I couldn't get rid of you even if I wanted too, you know too much." He joked.

"That is true, I do have quite a bit of dirt on you, de Caestecker." She giggled softly, her accent still thick with alcohol.

A warm breeze blew by and one of her curls brushed his cheek, “Chloe’s friend, Dana, thought you were cute.” She said matter-of-factly.

“I am cute.” He quipped.

“Did you like her?” She asked casually.

“She was alright, I guess.”

“You guess.” She echoed.

“I guess.” He repeated.

“It’s probably best,” she sighed, “she apparently cheated on her last boyfriend.” Then she gasped loudly, facing him with wide, guilty eyes, “Don’t tell Chloe I told you that!” She whispered loudly, he laughed at her, but promised all the same.

 

Just then the door swung open behind them and the rest of their group filed out, Chloe and Austin exempt.

"They kicked us out." Ming explained, her arm thrown around Jennifer.

"Jacket." Clark tossed Iain his coat, "you got those two?" He asked as Ming and Jen set off towards Clark's car singing to themselves.

"Yea, I got them!" The two on the step stood up, Liz wobbled a bit in her heels, and then using Iain to stable herself, she took them off.

"Need a lift, fair lady?" Before she could answer Brett had swept her up in his arms, she let out a surprised squeal before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

"Why thank you good sir!" Her words blending together a bit.

Liz took the passenger seat while Brett lay across all seats in the back. She chattered on, for a bit before announcing "I'm not at all tired yet. You guys wanna watch a movie?" She turned, only to find Brett fast asleep in the back.

"Alright, well, do you wanna watch a movie?" She asked pointedly.

Honestly, he was a bit tired but he knew if she wasn't distracted she would sit up all night worrying about Zach and their fight, and considering her current state, he wouldn’t be surprised if she called him trying to fix things, which would probably make them worse.

"Yea, alright." 

She clapped to herself, "Yay!" 

After dropping Brett off at home, which took a solid ten minutes because he refused to wake up. The pair finally made it into Elizabeth's apartment. 

He spent some quality time with her dog, started the kettle and poured a glass of water when he heard what sounded like and avalanche of shampoo bottles. Followed by hysterical laughter.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” She said, still laughing to herself.

She came back, make-up free, in a too big t-shirt and shorts, just as the tea was being poured (de caffeinated, of course). He shut off the lights and they both slumped onto the couch.

"We forgot to get a movie." She said.

Iain groaned, "I don't wanna get up again." 

"Me either." They both sat for a moment waiting for the other to cave.

"Telly?" She suggested. And he passed her the remote. It was just past three in the morning and so the pair had to flip through endless infomercials, stopping on occasion to make fun of the acting or the commentator. Finally, just as they were, going to give up hope, they found that Friends was just beginning.

"Oh, good! I love this one." She said, adjusting the pillow on her lap so she could hold her mug.

She clapped with zeal along to the intro, and when Iain just half heartedly tapped on the arm of the couch she shook her head at him, “You’re such a loser.”

They watched in silence for a while before Elizabeth spoke, "You’re Chandler."

"What?"

"You would be Chandler." 

"Why?"

She shrugged, "you just remind me of him.. It's probably the sarcasm. Or the fact that you are both just so adorable" she cooed, poking his cheek.

He swatted at her, smiling nonetheless.

"Or it's the dating troubles" he scoffed. “You’re Monica." 

"Really?"

"Yea, Ming would be Phoebe, Chloe’s Rachel, and you're Monica." 

"Why's that?" 

He starts listing on his fingers: "You're clean, you get really really invested in things-

"-Okay-"

"You’re responsible some of the time-" He continued.

“Some of the time?!” She asked indignantly.

“Do you not remember the first Laser Tag night?” He reminded her, he continued when her expression didn’t change “When you said you reserved a few hours for us but didn’t and then you had to pay off those twelve year olds!”

“How did you know about-“

“We all know about it!” He shouted.

“Or the time you walked around on a fractured ankle for a week. Or the time you got stuck on the roof of my trailer. Or that time-“

“Okay fine! Some of the time.” She grumbled.

The pair settled into silence again, laughing occasionally, empty mugs left on the table, and Liz was working on the glass of water. And despite their plot about how she wouldn’t date him: Iain would never say he was really glad Monica and Chandler ended up together. 

"Just so you know," she said turning to him with a smile, despite trying to sound serious, "I would pee on you if need be."

"Gee, thanks." He smiled sleepily at her, "now I know whom to call in case of a jellyfish sting."

The two spent the next episode list people thy would and wouldn't pee on if stung. The both of them becoming more silly as the night wore on.

"Simon Cowell?" She asked, curled on her side.

"Yeah, I'd save him." He answered, "I like his honestly."

The game became fewer and farther between and after a particularly long stretch of silence, Iain asked "Snape?" He looked over and found his partner fast asleep, hair splattered against the lumpy throw pillow.

He stretched and stood up slowly. He took their empty mugs to the sink, filled another glass of water for her and placed that on the coffee table along side a bottle of ibuprofen, he even picked up all stuff she knocked over in the bathroom (how she managed to get every single bottle of soap, hair brush, shampoo bottle, and towel on the floor was a mystery). 

 

Once he finished he went back out to the front room and covered his sleeping friend with the fluffy blanket that hung on the back of the sofa. He stopped, studying her a moment, and gently pushed a loose curl off her cheek, and he absolutely never say that she was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

 

Elizabeth woke up early the next morning, she felt sluggish, dehydrated, and most definitely hung-over, Sitting up slowly and rolled her shoulders back; She thanked God for Iain when she say the water and pills in front of her. Picking up the slip of white paper beside them aswell.

She took a few gulps and read,  
"I took a spare key and 20 of my 40 Dollars back; think of it as payment for taking care of your drunken ass." 

"Awwh man." She whispered to herself. 

" Good luck with Zach today, I’m sure you both will work things out just fine; But, I don’t suggest coming to me for relationship advice again because, no matter who you are dating I will always say that you deserve better, because frankly, I don’t think there is anyone good enough for you.

I probably won’t see you until Monday (unless one of us is stung by a jellyfish!), but if you need anything I’ll be there for you. -Chandler xx.”

"What a loser." She smiled. She’d never say she kept the note for years to come.


End file.
